White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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Books History Americas

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The New York Times best-selling book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when their assumptions about race are challenged, and how these reactions maintain racial inequality. In this “vital, necessary, and beautiful book” (Michael Eric Dyson), antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and “allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to ‘bad people’ (Claudia Rankine). Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue. In this in-depth exploration, DiAngelo examines how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.

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Robin DiAngelo

Reddit Posts and Comments

0 posts • 91 mentions • top 50 shown below

r/exchristian • comment
5 points • Stormtalons

Uhhhh, you really think that's a straw man..? One of their most popular books is called White Fragility, and is chock full of white guilt.

r/nba • comment
3 points • 934232

you're saying you're sick of politics but he's talking about race and politics. feeling you could puke is a very typical reaction from white people when confronted about the reality of racism in America. its such a blow to your whiteness that it makes you sick. its called white fragility look it up - https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/rupaulsdragrace • comment
3 points • AufDerGalerie

> doesn’t mean they should be canceled or whatever.

I don’t think she should be cancelled. I do think she deserves to be criticized.

> I know for a fact that if either of the other top three said the same, nobody would even think about it in that way.

I’m dumbfounded that you don’t think it would be horrible regardless of who said it.

It’s horrible that George Floyd had to say it and nobody listened.

> I’m just tired of seeing people getting attacked for being white and making a small mistake.

I’m tired of people who look like me being murdered on a regular basis because we’re seen as less than human.

White people are not the victims here. They can be allies and part of the fight to make things better.

If you are interested in taking part we welcome your support. I appreciate white queens like Trinity, Kelly Mantle, and Brooke Lynn Hytes who are standing with us and calling for justice for George Floyd.

You are not the first white person to feel picked on over a white person’s behavior being called out. It feels strange for people of color to hear this. We’re like, wait, how is it that saying someone’s behavior hurt them is worse than hurting someone? All you have to do is acknowledge that you did wrong and say you’ll do better (and then actually do it). To us that doesn’t seem like it should be so hard.

Black people don’t bring up hurtful things that have happened to them to make white people feel guilty. We do it because we’re tired of being hurt. We can all be against racism together—it’s not about being anti-white.

I highly recommend a book called White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo.

r/LateStageCapitalism • comment
2 points • agent0731

because white fragility.

The book is also good.

r/hollandmichigan • comment
2 points • ladydem

I’m not sure why conservatives would feel unwelcome by a sign condemning hate in our community. It might be time to take a look inside yourself, and see why. Conservative comfort will no longer be prioritized over the truth of the marginalized. It’s time to push our white comfort zones to grow as human beings. A good place to start would be picking up a copy of Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility.

White Fragility

I hope you find peace,

Jenn

r/DemocraticSocialism • comment
2 points • Smedleys_Butler_1933

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/jacksonville • comment
1 points • wanderlotus

It's a bit jarring how many people's natural response is to not believe PoC and try to find "reason" or "logical" explanations for the systemic issues we experience everyday. Sigh.

Please read White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.

r/conspiracy • comment
1 points • Rude-Mushroom

Written by a white communist from Seattle https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/JusticeServed • comment
1 points • sowega

This reminds me a lot ofWhite Fragility , a book many of us would do well to read our re-read.

I’m white and don’t feel shameful of my skin color. If people feel evil and wrong, it’s because of their white fragility. White people need to understand that systemic, insidious (I.e., not overt) racism exists, as does white privilege. White people should use that privilege to help disenfranchised, non-white people and remove systemic racism instead of bitching about how unfair it is that they are getting their feelings hurt. This will not only help a lot of folks but also exorcise their white guilt.

I get it. As my username suggests, I’m from the Deep South, southwest Georgia. When I was younger, I often thought about how it wasn’t my fault. It was a long time ago and if I had the choice, everybody would treat everybody else equally regardless of skin color; however, that’s simply not reality. Instead of crying about it, I try to learn as much as I can and get in civil discussions with folks on the internet as well as my students in the classroom about what we can do to fix it.

r/funny • comment
1 points • boxxxxxxybrown

please educate yourself. start here:

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/newzealand • comment
1 points • MrCyn

Do you even understand what racism is?

What is the white equivalent of the N word? What is the word used as a slur against white people that is so bad it has to be referred to rather than used, or asterixed out?

Why are you SO desperate to be victimised here? When white people can have several centuries of being oppressed to the point that generations of them are reduced to the "bad stats" then maybe you can have a cry about being called "white people""

But until then, jesus christ pick up a book like this one until then, im done with your fragile ego.

r/nba • comment
1 points • centipedeboy

Can you please educate yourself: https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/changemyview • comment
1 points • thethoughtexperiment

> It's like you haven't read any of my replies in this thread.

Not sure what would make you think that. Almost every one of my replies to you has quoted your comments and offered responses to the specific points you raised.

>DiAngelo is a tool to fuck the working class up the arse without any lube. She is a wrecker of labour movements who can be repurposed to suit the interests of the corporations that rent her out.
>
>How is that not harmful?

It seems like you're changing the subject here, rather than responding to my point above, which was that:

> So, if you think they probably work for those inclined to take them, and the people who are inclined to read 'white fragility' are probably those inclined to make positive changes themselves, then it would seem like all things being equal, this book might indeed have a positive effect.

Also, what's your evidence that she is wrecking labor movements?

> And racial self-flaggelation is valueless.

People educating themselves about racial issues doesn't seem useless, and that seems to be the key reason people are reading her book.

For example, if you have a look at the reviews of people who liked the book on Amazon, it seems like they are finding it practically useful.

Here are some quotes from what they say:

"I'm African-American and this book has changed my life. While DiAngelo openly states in the author's notes that she is "mainly writing to a white audience", I don't think white people are ready for this book. And, deep down, the author must know this. Instead, I would posit the opposite: this book should be required reading for any person of color living in this country.

I particularly found Chapter 9 and 10 informative. DiAngelo highlights examples of white fragility as well as ten rules of engagement that can be used a sociological green-book on how to navigate our interactions with white folks on the issue of race. These are rules of engagement that our children need to be taught because - let's be honest with ourselves - white supremacy isn't going anywhere. This book even has an entire chapter on how to deal with histrionic white women and their tears."

And from another:

"I am a white pastor who is a part of a team that fights against racism within the church. Engaged in public education in Christian circles has been a sobering experience as white people hide behind their belief to support their fragility and prejudice. This book provided me with personal insight that I have never before encountered. The insight is that as a white man, I carry racism and the benefits of white privilege with me all the time. This understanding deepens my empathy and awareness when working with others from all social and racial backgrounds. I need to be consciously "less-white" and seek honest feedback from minority groups.

If you are interested in reconciliation and peace-making this book is for you. Be brave and look at yourself as you read it. DiAngelo has given the reader an opportunity for personal growth and insight. This book's insight is a big step toward white maturity and relational peace."

And another:

"I feel more in touch with my humanity and the humanity of people of color after reading this book. I also gained a lot of insight into becoming more resilient with racial distress. As a white person in the context of a very white series of school systems, workplaces, and neighborhoods, I hadn’t gained skills to deal with racial distress. This was very evident to me as I was reading, and the sections on letting go of the idea being a "good" or "bad" white person were very helpful in moving through this.

I've attempted to educate myself on racism and white supremacy in various ways as an adult. Robin DiAngelo’s work and book (in my case, paired with Resmaa Menakem's Cultural Somatics teaching and book on healing racialized trauma) have been the most effective I've found in actually creating change inside myself so I can take action on being an ally to people of color and work towards dismantling white supremacist culture and institutions."

r/rant • comment
1 points • HelpfulAsshole89

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

Above is a book that I HIGHLY recommend everyone read. Once you do, you'll understand why this line of thinking is so problematic.

r/tennis • comment
1 points • uchuskies08

Well, it is a book, actually.

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

And since they capitalized it, I assumed that's what they were talking about.

r/BreadTube • comment
1 points • Alledius

I just finished this book by Robin DiAngelo called White Fragility and highly recommend it. Written mainly for white people to help them understand the impact of systemic racism, privilege, and how they and others are affected by them.

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/newjersey • comment
1 points • gordonv

It seems people ignore the bad, as long as it goes towards what they want. Do end ends justify the means? And how do you reach someone who has already made a decision and refuses to back down?

There is a book named White Fragility that talks about this. It is more centered on racism, but does expand to some other things.

r/madisonwi • comment
1 points • PBRarrr

This book about how the system is set up and why people are angry is great—recommended for anyone, not just white people: White Fragility, by Robin DiAngelo. https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=white+fragility+robin+diangelo&qid=1591016452&sprefix=whote+fragility&sr=8-1

r/Full_news • comment
1 points • dred1367

Wow man. That isn't what I said at all, and the fact you are choosing to interpret it that way says a lot about you.

Please educate yourself about how difficult it is to rise up as a minority.

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/Enough_Sanders_Spam • comment
1 points • paxinfernum

It's known as White Fragility.

r/technology • comment
1 points • veryunderstated

Words are powerful, they shouldn't be taken so flippantly. You really would benefit from reading White Fragility

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/pics • comment
1 points • of_james

Well to be fair - we [white people] have not really given Black people a reason to like us much given the 400yr+ timeline of events. I think it starts with white people understanding racism and truly trying to make right of it before we can grow as one. If you’re really looking for transformation, might I suggest this book

r/LittleRock • comment
1 points • ucabearfan05

Read this book. https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/ref=nodl_

r/pics • comment
1 points • juliaspy

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/PublicFreakout • comment
1 points • everyoneisflawed

I don't have time to educate you on why you're missing the mark on this. Use your own time and educate your own self.

r/CraftBeer • comment
1 points • g3nerallycurious

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism https://www.amazon.com/dp/0807047414/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_iHq7EbCWS7HB9

r/KState • comment
1 points • cyberphlash

You should start here. Not joking.

r/politics • comment
1 points • GivemethebrisketMan

Understood. It comes down to not trusting the American voter to do the right thing. They may love Bernies policies but they don’t believe he speaks to them in terms of racism and they don’t believe the average voter will vote for a candidate like Sanders. Rather, if he is the nominee, we will have four more years of Trump so they are voting for the man they believe has the best chance of beating Trump who is perceived and rightfully so as the greatest threat to them individually and their communities.

Nobody sees Biden as Obama 2.0.

If you are really interested in learning what the black community sees in terms of politically, There are a couple of books that may help. One is called White Fragility. https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/ref=nodl_

It’s a great primer on the challenges of fighting against racism and why it’s difficult for many white folks to see that said problem exists. It’s actually written by a white woman and is quite illuminating.

r/TheRightCantMeme • comment
1 points • Cool-Miner

The act of pretending to be color blind is in fact racist, and perpetuates systemic racism by shutting out all possibilities of being racist from discussion.

If you want to learn more, I highly recommend the book White Fragility.

r/BeardTube • comment
1 points • cellphonepilgrim

I didn't watch the original video (and I enjoy Xiangyu's interviews and his music), but "White Fragility" is a liberal Western concept developed by Robin DiAngelo, who is also a straight-up liberal (not even left-liberal whatever the hell that means, also white herself lol if that matters to you). It's weird to see her work referenced and then upvoted here. Not sure what to make of it...

Have you read this book?. I have, every cursed page. And I would be happy to discuss with you what I might have missed (I certainly make mistakes). How, in this work for example, does DiAngelo "follow dialectic materialism", since that rightfully seems to be very important to you? That can be a good jumping off point.

Anyway, since reading your comment I've been laughing imagining a bunch of MLs paying hundreds of dollars to attend a DiAngelo seminar at some Midwestern university to sit in a circle and chant kumbayah and "check their privilege."

Sorry for the rant, but I mean, com'on. Robin fucking DiAngelo?

r/shield • comment
1 points • TenYearRedditVet
r/news • comment
1 points • pdmavid

“Nobody listens, nobody talks about it... because it’s uncomfortable and not always apparent...”

Here’s a good book more people need to read:

White Fragility: why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism

r/answers • comment
1 points • qutun

Check out "White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism" It goes in depth about systematic racism and how racism had evolved over the years to be even more insidious.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0807047414/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_b4FxEbNGN5TAP

The New York Times best-selling book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when their assumptions about race are challenged, and how these reactions maintain racial inequality.

r/worldnews • comment
1 points • umdngrs

Yeah i mean as a white person you’ve never faced discrimination in the UK; ergo i’m clearly being unreasonable by suggesting i faced more discrimination in the UK than at home in SF as a black man.

So sorry I offended you my friend. Some reading homework for you bud: https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/FragileWhiteRedditor • comment
1 points • honestblackman

No. Racism, sexism, homophobia, are so prevalent among online gaming communities, however, that in general the best course of action for many non-White, Female, and/or Gay gamers is to keep themselves at a respectful distance. Recognizing that these issues are so prevalent, that just because one can physically exist in a space where other gamers are, one is keenly aware that if many had the filter of anonymity, they would be bullying and slandering people with deragatory and discriminatory language and epithets that don't make many of us feel welcome. Just because I can recognize this fact doesn't mean that I'm therefore saying that ALL gamers are racist. -- But herein lies part of the problem with discourses around White Fragility. Fragile (White) people hear a valid and pointed criticism; and rather than simply taking it for the message that was articulated, they must now shift the scope of discussion onto a broader population that was not mentioned.

If you, and everyone, really, could read this book, and genuinely understand it, the world would be a better place. (https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414)

r/SeattleWA • comment
1 points • NewlyNerfed
r/nfl • comment
1 points • AptainCamerica

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

r/LoveForScalpers • comment
1 points • rentisdueonthe1st

It's not my job to educate you, sweaty. Start with Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility.

r/LovecraftCountry • comment
1 points • onepath

I wish other shows get the same hate for excluding non white characters as much as this one does. I just finished Ratched which has some black characters, but the only ones who live are evil. The rest were brutally killed on screen. I could feel it when I watched it. That is how it feels and it’s not a nice feeling. And Ratched is a show that’s not about racism. This is exclusivity.

To put it bluntly: lovecraft is not about your mom. But she was represented. There are white characters in the background. The ones that went out with the store clerk were her friends. The neighbors who didn’t attack the black neighbors and were nice. The white people who did die were racists. This is not exclusivity because the show is about: 1. Racism 2. Lovecraft 3. Showing POC that they can be more than just side characters

Please read White Fragility. It will more than answer all your feelings. https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=white+racism&qid=1603107133&sr=8-3

r/stupidpol • comment
1 points • real-nineofclubs

I thought it was capitalism 101, leveraging liberal guilt to sell courses and books for profit.

In 20 years our children, living in cardboard tiny houses and working the gig-economy for $4 an hour, will wonder about the historically unprecedented stupidity of the woke generation of the 2020’s. Hitler’s youth will seem level-headed and clear-eyed by comparison.

r/PublicFreakout • comment
3 points • EstacionEsperanza

> Antiracist thought leaders Ibram Kendi and Robin DeAngelo

You're clearly not very familiar with their work, because they're diametrically opposed to the idea that all white people are irredeemably racist and bad. I'll just copy and paste what I wrote to some other chud.

You can review material on anti-racist/anti-bias trainings and immediately recognize that the confrontational, aggressive approach, and idea that white people are inherently bad is certainly an outlier.

Take the concept of White Fragility Here's a summary of the concept.

It's the idea that, as a whole, white Americans are not conditioned to recognize systemic racism, and sometimes react aggressively and defensively when confronted with the reality of their own privilege. Acknowledging that white people may have negative reactions to efforts to dismantle systems that privilege them is not, in fact, racism.

>Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and “allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to ‘bad people’ (Claudia Rankine). Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue. In this in-depth exploration, DiAngelo examines how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.

The author of White Fragility is actually diametrically opposed to the woman in this video. She's saying that people who do or say racist things are not inherently bad or irredeemable - that there is hope to constructively approach these issues.

r/newzealand • comment
1 points • 234353435353453

There's white people and then people that happen to be white. The latter is the white people who don't get offended and feel prejudiced towards them because this actually holds no real weight in society and is not systematic. You're quite clearly someone that gets offended by it which is just your deep insecurities that you need to address. The fact is you tried to draw the parallels between being a white european born in NZ and being an iranian muslim refugee just shows you clearly don't actually think too deep outside your comfort zone so start with that. It also shows you don't understand AT ALL that different ethnicities and cultures hold significantly more weight than others. Lastly, you also made the whole thing about yourself instead of trying to listen to the other persons experiences which is what white people do ALL THE TIME, "hold on let me grab the mic for a second" when someone of colour speaks about racism that effects them.

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414 here's a great book that you should start with. My mother is about as white as they get, my dad is a muslim immigrant and she had the exact same argument you had when I tried to talk about racism in NZ trying to compare the experience of an immigrant from Austria to someone from the Middle East. She finally got it in the end when I broke it down for her and now think's its stupid that people try compare because they aren't actually the same.

r/startrekmemes • comment
1 points • redworm

start here:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Antiracist-Ibram-Kendi/dp/0525509283/

when you're done with that your next homework assignment is

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/

if you want any more you'll need to pay tutoring rates because it's not by job to teach white kids what their parents never did. you have access to the internet, you are fully capable of finding out the answers to this instead of being a sea lion

r/Austin • comment
1 points • glichez
r/CapHillAutonomousZone • comment
1 points • ElfronHubbard

It sounds like we are watching different media. If you see amy news about politics you'll see plenty of white folks. Pretty much every major youtube channel, white hosts. Just because people are finally ready to acknowledge that black people are disproportionately killed by police doesnt mean white people are forgotten. We're just not fron and center for once

As for the data I could find it, shows black folks account for 14% of murders committed, which is far from a majority.

Maybe this would be a good read for you

r/AskWomenOver30 • comment
0 points • acynicalwitch

You think naming sexist behavior as sexist is insulting or disrespectful? I'd like to hear how you would euphemistically refer to these things in such a way that would still communicate, "That is sexist" without saying the word sexist.

This conversation reminds me very much of the TERF insistence that it's a slur. It stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist, and if you ask them which word in that acronym they disagree with, they'll just call you a 'bully' and refuse to answer.

Because, 'sexist', 'racist', 'classist', 'privileged' etc are not slurs they're descriptors.

What you're espousing here is respectability politics--namely, that if marginalized people just pushed back on their marginalization more nicely maybe the majority group might listen--and we'll probably never agree on this front. I really strongly suggest you pick up the book 'White Fragility' and give it a read.

What I will say is: this is exactly why BIPOC women find white feminists unreliable 'allies'. This right here.

r/jerseycity • comment
1 points • Ilanaspax

I’ll do you one better- these are fantastic resources. Let me know when you finish and we can chat! The first one is available at the JC public library.

https://www.amazon.com/New-Jim-Crow-Incarceration-Colorblindness/dp/1595586431

https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_2/147-7948596-9748265?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0807047414&pd_rd_r=802eb85c-2428-40d5-b875-1823bc726e1e&pd_rd_w=oNLIC&pd_rd_wg=KAFJa&pf_rd_p=f34f941f-c8a2-45ca-bc95-3c77f31adeb0&pf_rd_r=03FFQ3FVDFNM83BMY20T&psc=1&refRID=03FFQ3FVDFNM83BMY20T

r/MensLib • comment
1 points • KillDogforDOG

Honestly i don't really pay much importance to the author when it's an author i am unfamiliar with so regardless of what they may identify as for gender it usually has little importance when compared to the subject (mostly read nonfiction)

The least i can do is recommend the couple authors who happen to be women in my recent booklist:

  • Caroline Criado Perez author of Invisible Women : Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men

  • Robin DiAngelo author of White fragility : Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

r/nerdfighters • comment
1 points • Callmebean16

Also plenty of white authors write about black people for black people and are celebrated for doing the work necessary to equal the playing field of white central characters dominating the conversation. White people have been writing black characters for years withtout problem. Its about doing it authentically and that hard it requires hard work and grappling with another culture in a serious way. Work John has not been willing to do.

see white person handling race well : https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414