The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

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#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 6 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

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Mark Manson

Reddit Posts and Comments

0 posts • 56 mentions • top 50 shown below

r/IWantToLearn • comment
4 points • Gundam14

Or this book as well. No joke. I have to learn how to focus on myself for the first time in years. This book is helping me do that.

r/datingoverforty • comment
3 points • Utetopia
r/AirForce • comment
3 points • weregoingtofight

My best advice, the grass isn’t always greener on the civilian side. Even when you do land a good job, it will still come with stress, responsibility, and feelings of being undervalued due to company politics.

Make sure you understand the true money delta for working in the civ sector. Maybe you do find a good paying job, but, that paycheck also doesn’t come with BAH, BAS, medical, etc.

While you ponder your decision and do your research also research better copying mechanisms for job adversity.

By all means, if your not happy with your job or where that job is taking you in 5 to 10 years, don’t settle. Take risks and bet on yourself, but just make sure you are considering ALL the variables.

I was once in your shoes (battle field airmen wash out, hated my new job etc) and a friend recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

Changed my life, and funny enough after I learned better copying mechanisms I started winning awards, randomly got picked up for a Academy slot, went to pilot training, so many random crazy things I never thought would happen when I got out of my negative ways/thinking.

Hope that helps, keep your head up, don’t stress, be happy, the AF is just a job. Unless your job involves handling nuclear weapons... then yeah stress about that shit lol.

r/Teachers • comment
3 points • TeachingScience

Learn not to give a fuck about what students say. If you want an accelerated course sign up to be a middle school teacher.

r/suggestmeabook • comment
2 points • NotAlen

"The subtle art of not giving a fuck"

{https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713}

r/Advice • comment
2 points • doublejabcrosshook

Analyze yourself from a bird's- eye view. Are you a douchebag? Are you unpleasant and are you just unapproachable? If not then don't focus on it. Either people will like you not. They don't have to like you but they damn sure should respect you, so work towards being respected instead. Also, read this if you want more insight on the matter.

r/NoStupidQuestions • comment
2 points • GlassArrow

This sounds like lack of confidence. I recommend that “Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” book. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062457713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.a4oEbBFRXBFN

r/relationship_advice • comment
2 points • NancyLouMarine

This is another good one:

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/sysadmin • comment
2 points • TheDarthSnarf

I suggest reading: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. I found the philosophy great as a way of dealing with stress.

r/hsp • comment
1 points • Dano216

Two things that may help:

1) meditation

2) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062457713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_P-bWEb4G0RZPE

r/Divorce • comment
1 points • loafimus

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/

It really helped me focus on the things that I can control and let go of everything I can't.

r/AskReddit • comment
1 points • gumby_dammit

Read Mark Manson’s book:The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

r/meateatertv • comment
1 points • RogueWoodsman

You're probably a ton of fun to go hunting with... I honestly hope you're a troll because everyone in here has a great attitude and it's met (by you) with snarky narcissism. If you're looking for a new book I'd check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@ck by Mark Manson

r/Coffee • comment
1 points • chasnamy248

Can I recommend the following read: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life By Mark Manson https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/ref=nodl_

r/Teachers • comment
1 points • Mahaloth

I agree with (most) of the above. I am a 16 year veteran and I read a book over the summer that I shared earlier on this subreddit. Don't judge it by its title. It's got a lot of great stuff for teachers in it.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

I've worked hard to learn to care less about the unimportant things and more about the important things.

r/LifeProTips • comment
1 points • talksense101

I recommend the book https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713. It has better explanations and it is fun to read.

r/IWantToLearn • comment
1 points • greenpoe

Mark Manson wrote a book on this. Available as an audiobook as well

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

r/serbia • comment
1 points • tehnomir

Nabavi ovu knjigu

r/AskMen • comment
1 points • NoTimeForDowntime

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/ExperiencedDevs • comment
1 points • Cosmic_Dong

Honestly, you need to give less of a fuck about your company regardless of how much ownership you have.

Here's a book I recommend: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/Petioles • comment
1 points • Sinujutsu

>All the negative feelings, the anxiety, the worries go away after a few puffs and I miss that so bad. I can just vibe and enjoy myself.

Missing that good high. I've had some pretty anxious smokes when I'm ignoring my feelings.

Highly Recommend Subtle Art Not Giving A Fuck for new tools to help you address your negative feelings and anxiety.

r/TooAfraidToAsk • comment
1 points • TheThingsiLearned

You sound like a pretty young person. Well at least you sound like me back when I was a teen. I stopped caring about how others saw me and that was a huge stress off my back. You soon realize everyone is so worried about themselves no one will notice your insecurities. Whether it’s jobs or relationships most everyone is thinking about themselves. If you do find a partner/boss that actually cares about you then you stick with them. As for thinking you’re not good enough long as you show up and put in some work you’ll be fine. Seems like you’re not arrogant to think you’re the best. That’s a good thing. I’ve met so many arrogant people that can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. That’s the stuff that gets you fired. Have a read of The Subtle art of not giving a F**k

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/sysadmin • comment
1 points • CaptainFluffyTail

I would also suggest The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. Helps drive home that you are not your job. You need to care while at work but don't let it consume your life. From experience buy the paperback becasue using the Kindle got to be too much like work for me.

r/AskWomen • comment
1 points • Sudo_Nymn

I’m looking forward to getting (a little bit) older because I have a book by this title on hold at the library and it won’t be available until I’m 39.

r/Advice • comment
1 points • Empty_C6

Actually there is a really good book about that. Helped me a lot https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_marketplace

r/toastme • comment
1 points • bboyl

That’s good to hear :) but I wouldn’t necessarily call these things distractions because time spent having fun is never time wasted! What books do you enjoy reading? I just finished reading this book and it really helped me out so I would definitely recommend it!

r/hungary • comment
3 points • szadnra

Ezt a sorozatot olvastam legutóbb. Az elsőt fizikai könyv formában a többit már ebook anonamouse-ról. Előtte valahogy a Subtle Art-ot, nem tudom hirtelen hogy megvettem vagy PDF.

A határon túli magyar irodalomról egyáltalán semmit sem tudok.

Hogy milyen egy oldal politikai beállítottsága nem befolyásolja hogy olvasom-e, át szoktam futni a propagandát és a libsi őrületet is. Ja és csak online, nem tudom miért akarnék offline újságot olvasni.

r/Romania • comment
1 points • ion_si_atat

Om cult

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/smallbusiness • comment
1 points • BeachBumPLo

Understanding the principles in this book could possibly help you a lot.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#\^K

r/tall • comment
1 points • icechelly24
r/AskReddit • comment
1 points • aureliaurora

This ideology is from a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Very much a recommended read, since the idea of budgeting fucks resonated with you. :)

r/college • comment
1 points • SeveredHead
r/suggestmeabook • comment
1 points • keysercade
r/datingoverthirty • comment
1 points • naturesnapkin

Thanks for the reply!! You are already being so thoughtful by trying to work it out with him.

You should tell him all these compliments, dudes normally don't get showered with compliments and sometimes hearing it like this really gives us pause and makes us listen more. Setting the tone of the conversation is key here. He needs to know this isn't just you complaining or nitpicking, this is a serious, relationship building moment.

I think you're right that space will help but I think a big conversation needs to happen before or after the trip to get you out of that weird stagnant feeling.

The parents interactions sounds exactly as my parents are. They never think anything is good enough but it's not from a malicious place. My parents were immigrants here that had to fight for everything in their life and always got stuck in survivoral mode. This unfortunately does leak over into parenting . It wasn't until I got distance that I realized my parents don't prioritize themselves and always worry too much what we were doing which leads to us seeking approval always!

your bf is truly knee deep into this programmed mentality.

A book I recommend to help too (yes I know very cliche here haha) is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*$#. It's only 200 pages bad hilarious for both of you to read together. Maybe have him read it while you are on your trip?

you can get it as a free book

r/LifeProTips • comment
1 points • clearlybaffled

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062457713/

Been on my to read list for years, fascinating premise.

r/AskMen • comment
1 points • The_Mental_Pharaoh
r/NewTubers • comment
1 points • FjordTV
r/Advice • comment
1 points • RobbertvanderVelden

There is a great book on this.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/Meditation • comment
1 points • Caravage0

1) Meditation is not to make the emotion go away, it is to be with it 2) Accept your imperfections, stop being your fiercest judge 3) Love and be kind to yourself 4) Read this 5) Read this

r/MMFB • comment
2 points • phonypuppet

  1. It is a big step for you to post this; kudos to you and you should be proud to share your story.
  2. After reading your post, I see that large goals might be affecting your ability to complete tasks. I have also struggled from procrastination and walking away from things/holding things off because I can't do it perfectly in the moment. It is critical to break down goals to chunks that are manageable. For example, if you have a term paper due in 2 months, that should not be the goal. It should be broken down into a) finding a topic b) finding research materials for your topic c) actually researching the topic d) writing down key findings, etc. Even though it's tedious, breaking down larger tasks like this will help you feel more motivated and successful.
  3. Celebrate small successes. I see you're talking about how you'll be happier once you figure out how to heal, or what you want to do long-term with your life, or just moving out and finding a safer environment in which to live. These are great goals - however, what are you doing to celebrate the small steps? Mentally stop every once in a while and celebrate a connection you have made with a friend who might be able to help. Celebrate the fact that you decided you don't want to be what others aspired for you. My family had always pushed studying medicine, and when I said "no," even though I didn't know what came next, I was proud of myself to actually realize I didn't have to fall into their dreams for me.
  4. Remember, you have a lot of time. I am reading that you want to discover who you are. At 17-18 years old, you have extreme amounts of time to figure things out. If you find a job that you don't particularly enjoy, focus on the aspects that you do enjoy. Break down the moments of your life and figure out exactly what makes you feel good and hone in on those things. Try out different jobs, and meet different people. Remember not to put yourself down because of an expectation of what you think you should be doing with your life.
  5. Here are some book recommendations to help as well:
  6. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***
  7. The Gifts of Imperfection
  8. Make Your Bed

Best of luck! This is just my initial thoughts, and I hope this helps in even a small way. You got this!

r/SweatyPalms • comment
0 points • vbahero

Also the dude didn't even actually deal with the road being blocked. He's actually waxing poetic about a hypothetical nuisance.

Someone needs to read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and clearly find other fucks to give instead

r/AskWomen • comment
1 points • PatulousEustachian

These two books changed my life:

I Thought It Was Just Me, by Brene Brown

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, by Mark Manson

TLDR: I realized the opinions other people have about me don't matter nearly as much as my own, we are all trying our best and that's okay, and there's no point in getting all twisted up about shit that doesn't matter.

r/PMDD • comment
1 points • Adventurous_Problem

I've been trying to think of some good answers for you. My experience with PMDD is figuring out how to handle the trigger with the panic attack. Usually I can do this pretty well. The hard part comes with separating the PMDD and telling myself that the thing that is still bothering is either figured out, taken care of, or I'm going to wait to take care of it and just really really holding onto the fact that my body is triggered and not me emotionally.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

I really love this book. I think it's a good intro. It's about getting clear on the things you decide to care about.

I'm not sure that I have a good explanation of what self acceptance looks like. I struggle with this too. I really do pull from a zen budhism point of view. (I'm shit at sitting on a regular basis, but I know it helps.) So, one of the things is to experience and feel without judgement of yourself and starting a shame loop for example. I'll see if I can find some stuff specifically on this.

r/SuperMorbidlyObese • comment
1 points • goneoverwolf

They werent recommend by my therapist but I felt like these helped a bit. I feel like even if you just read the Warrior heart book it will help alot if I learn any other helpful thing I will share them on here 1 https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

2 https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-David-D-Burns-audiobook/dp/B01N9TCVLD/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=david+burns&qid=1599700366&sprefix=david+burn&sr=8-3

Eta I think there may be audiobook versions on YouTube

Found one more but its a diffrent type of therapy I would try this if the Warrior one doesnt help https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00US3EOWE?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

r/thewallstreet • comment
1 points • zuggles

A few things for your free time:

  1. Lex Fridman's -- Deep learning State of the Art 2020 -- https://youtu.be/0VH1Lim8gL8
  2. https://www.amazon.com/Machines-Who-Think-Artificial-Intelligence/dp/1568812051
  3. https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/getting_over_it • comment
1 points • Reap_The_Black_Sheep

This is a few days late, so I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to say that I am 27 and this feeling is super common, and also that literally no one has it figured out. It can be easy to look at facebook, instagram, or even just walk around campus and get the impression that everyone is super fucking stoked to be alive and knows exactly what they are doing. In reality I think pretty much everyone feels how you feel at some point, especially at the stage of life you are in. That said there is something that you can and should do about it. You should just get out there and experiment. You don't know what you want to do as a career? Pick something and see if you like it. One of two things happens A.) You like it! Keep doing it until you stop liking it. B.) You don't like it, so do something else. The same applies to your sexuality. Also realize that these are moving targets. Your passions, goals, and even sexuality may change with time. It's actually kind of crazy to think the inverse would be true.

Here's a song that helps me feel better when I'm going through what you are feeling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwlG_dRHrfs

If you like books or audiobooks I'd really recommend "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck." It is really popular book and might give you something to talk about with some future friends.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

r/Advice • comment
1 points • weirdhappyface

https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

https://lifelessons.co/personal-development/howtonotgiveafuck/

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

https://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/

You are being too hard on yourself, first of all many many many cats will be angry over getting a new housemate. Give it more time perhaps, sometimes it takes a long time for a cats to get along. You where also not the one rehoming the family dog, I would also feel a lot of guilt if I was the mother that rehomed it, you on the other hand does not sound like you where in charge of it.

This time you are in charge of rehoming the cat (if you decide not to give it longer to get settled), make sure you do a better job (if it was possible to do it better) then your mom did with the dog. Checkup on it aswell as finding someone you know won't harm it.

>I do sometimes feel like it's everyone else with the problem but like.... that doesn't make my life easier, you feel?

For sure, it is a strength you've got in any case, while it might feel like a weakness now and it could surely be viewed as one I see it as a strength, you've just not adapted, prepared and formed your life around the strong emotional bonds you quickly build.

Maybe you don't have to say goodbye so hard? Can't you tell your brain you will be seeing this person some other time in your life? If not I'd find less people to get attached to. Also find the early warning signs of you building attachment to people, so you can start taking decisions regarding if you should continue building emotions or just cut it immediately before it is too late :)

I really think finding work that is appropriate to your attachment building is a good idea, in DSP it sounds like building attachments are a good idea, in a relation where they have a lot of the power (I assume), so it might be quite taxing as their opponions of you will weigh heavy on you.

In any case information is key, review yourself over the feelings you feel and try to find out why you feel this or that feeling. Combat your brain when it's missbehaving and try forming it towards the behaviour you want it (less attachment building) as soon as you start feeling worry about your relationships or whatever you say "BAD BRAIN", force it to think about something positive, fun and not worrying. Do this for several weeks and see if it helps.

You worry about the future, you have anxiety about the past. Once you've spent too much time in either and don't get anything positive about it it's time to get back to the moment. (Write stuff down if you are worried about forgetting them or missing them, pack it up and then leave)