LUXE Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)

GET A BIDET ATTACHMENT!! I'm putting this in all caps because it changed my life. Pooping used to also be really tiring for me. I think we discount how much effort goes into wiping especially if you have to do it a lot. A bidet solves this. It sprays most of the poop off and you just wipe a few times to dry off. Way easier. The bidet and also making sure you take breaks between the different steps of pooping made pooping much easier for me.

Here's a $35 dollar bidet attachment on Amazon that works great:

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=bidet&qid=1600399794&sr=8-5

As someone who recently got a toilet bowl attachment bidet from amazon I'll go into detail. This might be slightly graphic for some of you.

I bought something like this a year ago. It sat around in my shed and I finally decided to install it during the Great TP Shortage Of 2020.

What I've learned;

(Here's where it gets uncomfortable) I've got some problems down there. (Anal Fissure for 5+ years) This went away almost immediately, I had lingering issues for a month or so, but after that. Gone.

If you want to be clean, you have to aim for the leather cheerio. This is... disturbing at first. If you've never had a tightly streamed and aimed jet of water aimed at your balloon knot, well, you're in for an experience!

Once you've acclimated yourself to this sensation, you've discover that the self enema is even more cleansing.

I know it sounds crazy, but once you discover how... dirty.. your ass has been for your entire life, you really won't be able to go back. And don't be mistaken. If you wipe with TP, your ass is dirty.

If you step in dog-crap bare-foot, do you go inside and pull some paper-towels down and wipe your foot off? No, you get the hose and blast that thing! Why is your butt any different?

So, in conclusion. You target the Smelly Freckle and give yourself a Self Enema and wipe the left over water off your Cinnamon Ring. You'll consider how you were such a dirty hobo before!

Edit: Try to stick to the lower/mid range settings. Only the truly adventurous turn it to high.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_jpNTFb3K2GQWF?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

This is the one I've been using for 4 years or so. Installation only took about 5 minutes; if I recall it even came with a little plastic wrench, so I didn't need to even bust out the tool box.

I don't like pooping anywhere but home now. Scraping my butthole with dry toilet paper seems so primitive and unhygienic now compared to actually washing it.

And it pays for itself very quickly. Since you only need a square or two of TP to dab dry with, a decent sized roll of TP can last a month or longer. I bought an 8 pack of TP sometime this summer (July/August or so) and haven't needed to re-up.

I feel for you, people are being stupid and selfish when they buy more than they need. My husband decided to get something like this because of the first round of craziness. He absolutely LOVES it and it’s not too expensive either. Bidet

Bidets that work with existing seats should fit any toilet no matter the shittiness (heh). Like this one for $35.

A bidet that includes the seat would be designed to fit a certain bowl size, either round or elongated, and they're usually adjustable to fit slight variances. Your toilet might suck, but they're fairly standardized.

Source - am bidet enthusiast. I fucking love my bidet.

Alternatives to long-term toilet paper storage

TP is pretty big news recently. It's funny to see what society's real concerns are in situations like this. At the same time, stockpiling TP can be difficult because it takes up a lot of space and can deteriorate quickly. Below are several alternatives to traditional TP storage. I am interested to hear of other alternatives.

• Toilet paper tablets. I use these for backpacking and they work great. They take up very little space and last forever. It only takes a small amount of water (even sucking on them in your mouth) to make them expand into a large and durable piece of TP (size of a hand towel). In my experience, it only takes one sheet per BM. For long-term storage, I take them out of the bag and vacuum seal them—they take up even less space and there is no risk of them getting wet.
• Vacuum-sealed toilet paper. If you are set on traditional TP, or already have a large stockpile, then consider removing the cardboard roll and vacuum sealing it to take up less space and make the shelf life indefinite.
• Reusable toilet paper. About as gross as cloth diapers, but a good long-term option in an extended grid-down scenario.
• A bidet, either electric or manual (like what women use after childbirth). Note that this method still requires a small amount of TP or cloth to pat dry.
• Last ditch solutions (sorry for TMI): I lived in a rural part of South America for several years. TP was available but very overpriced and we could not afford it most of the time. We primarily used scrap paper including newspaper and magazines (make sure you run it under water first and/or crinkle it up to make it softer). When paper was scarce, we would just hop in the shower after #2 and rinse off with soap and water. Not a glamorous solution, but practical and free. Obviously you can also use leaves and other natural materials—our ancestors did it for millennia.

Here fucker

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YcwcEbA0C1ZB8

you know they have attachments you can buy?

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

Same. Mine is from "Luxe". You get used to the water temp. Installs ridiculously easy.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_eu9CEbYK5V5ED

My boyfriend got us this one from amazon a couple of years ago, and we love it! You just screw it in under the toilet seat and hook it to the water supply. It does get a bit cold in the winter since we didn’t spring for the hot water option, but it’s not terrible. I think it makes a huge difference in terms of hygiene/comfort, especially during a flare or colonoscopy prep. Definitely recommend!

I’m a Bidet Social Media Prophet. Over the last 10 years we have had six of these in various apartments and our house. We have 4 bathrooms now and they all have one of these.

Best investment ever. We buy a Costco size case of TP every 9 months or so. It helped my kid potty train and was super easy to install.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)

we've enjoyed this one
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Luxe Neo 120 for $42. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO

It's usually out of stock but if you check it out once or twice a day you'll eventually see it in stock, to be delivered in 2-4 weeks (same with other brands and models). That price is higher than normal. I think it's usually closer to $25-30. I did also have to buy seat bumpers(<$10) because it will raise your toilet seat a bit and I also had to get a new water supply line because it adds a T-adapter beneath your tank that will change the distance.

Just get a bidet attachment for your toilet. I love mine. Easy to set up, and pretty cheap. I have this one. It uses cold water, but it's cheap and simple.

But you can also get ones that you can attach a hot water intake like this one, but that's more complicated.

Or you could get a fancy bidet toilet seat with nifty features like this if you want to spend a bunch of money. Has an air drier, as well as warm water and a heated seat!

Like legit bruv, https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

This is a basic bidet attachment. It can clean itself and blow a stream of water up your butt. It's not the fancy ones that can clean and dry your ass but yeah. I can attest to both the quality and ease of installation.

To everyone who is talking about toilet paper: get a bidet! They have great ones you can install yourself without being handy or messing with the plumbing, so you don’t have to own your house to have one. They are great for after sex, waking up in the morning when on your period, etc., and better for the environment. Get a stack of cheap washcloths or something similar that you use to dry yourself afterward. (I recommend a distinct color so everyone knows not to use them for anything else.) And a small stepcan next to the toilet to place the dirty ones in.

Something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

LOL, it was $35 on Amazon. I'm not rich, but I treat my ass as well as I can afford! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Why wait?

LUXE Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_i_Q2u3FbMGBF7R7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

The link wouldn’t insert the url.

A nice, refreshing, blast of water.

Believe me, you'll never want to go back.

>https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_eu9CEbYK5V5ED

I was looking at that one however it's currently sold out and so are many others. I'll have to keep it on my list for when they do become avail again. Thank you

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=bidet&qid=1606080083&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFIQUcwU0NTN1U0TUgmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA3MTExNzMyMjVUSUk0SENQRzJaJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA5MTU0MjgxNzJVSUNLTUw0WEUzJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

TBH I installed one of these a few days ago after stocking up on 102 rolls of TP. Best purchase ever silly as it may seem. Never been so clean:) Maybe if it gets bad I can put the TP on Ebay.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_5?crid=23699H54US5HC&dchild=1&keywords=luxe+bidet+neo+120&qid=1605547749&sprefix=luxe%2Caps%2C220&sr=8-5

Luxe Bidet Neo 120. It's pretty basic but I have no problems with it. Installed in 15 minutes.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Ool.Eb03AVPMD

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5w9AEbBEN7JF7

I have the earlier version of this model and it's worked very well for me.

Easy to install (less than 20 minutes with 0 prior plumbing experience) and works as intended.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?almBrandId=QW1hem9uIEZyZXNo&dchild=1&fpw=alm&keywords=bidet&qid=1584201119&refresh=1&sr=8-3 I already installed this. It's brilliant.

They're super inflates in price on Amazon right now. I can't find the specific one right now but there are many similar ones such as this: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_7?keywords=bidet&qid=1584183869&rnid=2470954011&sr=8-7

You basically look for the non electric ones that look like this and normal price is probably 30-50 bucks. Really easy to install.

Can only speak for myself, but mine is a simple under-toilet seat attachment that cannot be inserted anywhere but rather jets up to clean your pooper, with a knob to control the pressure. If you’re seated in the right(?) position, you can get the dual clean action I’m referencing.

A lot of people have been buying bidets lately for obvious reasons. Never had one, but if you can't find any toilet paper whatsoever, here you go: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_5fACEbQFQTHT3

A stand-alone one is, sure. The ones you add onto an existing toilet and tap through the regular toilet line are around $50. Pretty affordable. For example.

The bidet I bought is so nice, then you just dry it off. Pretty decent quality one was only $40 on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_C56OEbDPG35VZ

Leave toilet paper behind. Make the switch. Way better experience haha

I use this, haven't wiped my ass in five years.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=luxe+bidet&qid=1584128459&sr=8-1

There’s no dryer on ours we have a $30 model from amazon.

Looks like it’s gone up in price though Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VxaBEbTCA4TME

This is the one I bought. Just six months ago, it was $40......

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_hpnBEbMXV7N6Q

back in stock

Delivered April 11

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_gXnBEbNKTS4C7

Leave it on clean so your kids don’t play with it and blasts a whole in your drywall.

I recommend this model https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_HX6AEb7EV2F11

This bidet on Amazon is only $40

Can’t speak for op, but that was my bidet-barrier - no outlet. Then I discover these little guys and it’s been life changing. https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fab_Ci3FFb895XF8F

It connects to the line to the toilet by attaching a splitter. They make some that heat the water, but they are a bit more pricy.

Get a bidet, it will improve the life of both you and your wife even after she is out of the casts.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_7VI-Eb0Y98VAP

Ours was just like $30, hand tool install, you can remove it when you leave with no trace. It just attaches under a standard toilet seat. Not a full appliance style. Like this: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_qPVmFbGHFC21G

Something like this + backflow is still going to be cheaper than some of those $1000 ones linked above. May need an adapter though

Or just get a $30 travel one (basically a squeeze bottle with a angled nozzle)

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

NAD, but I do.... ah.... know a guy, that has had similar issues as you describe.

I can't say anything as to the cause or cure of the condition but can confidently report that a bidet like this has been known to be a extremely effective way to reduce the symptoms you describe.

You see, TP kinda starts acting like sandpaper you're using it multiple times an hour. Water is much more gentle.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_wb-AEbYRMG65F

YES! It was constant, and almost right after I ate anything I had to go! I had to purchase a bidet attachment from Amazon I went so much, and the dry toilet paper was killing my sore ass. Carry a extra change of undies, and wipes. At 19 weeks I'm more "solid", and VERY thankful! Heaven sent! Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2TmtEb1RGVW1S

I recently purchased two for my home back around Christmas time. I’m reaping all the rewards now!

Get it on Amazon for cheap guys! It’s life changing!

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_jI-AEb9CJES56