The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

True. It’s a hard problem since money is definitely involved. And you’re right. Sometimes just believing in some thing even if it’s a placebo can go along way in helping your mindset and attitude towards certain issues in your life. That’s a really good point.

There are also some effective ways to do self therapy as well. Seeking resources on how to achieve more mindfulness, self-awareness and the ability to meditate can make huge progress in your interpersonal life and mental health.

I think even if OP just seeks out some cognitive behavioral therapy resources online and buys a workbook they can go through at home it would change their entire life.

Here’s one that changed mine and helped me through some very dark times when I was trapped in some horrible thought patterns:

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve struggled with ED for over ten years. It’s awful. And it sounds like you’re struggling with the same things.

It’s great that you’re able to catch these behaviors early on and recognize them as a problem. And that you’re in therapy. This is a great start. Keep going, and keep talking about this, if you don’t feel like you can talk to your boyfriend, is there a friend or family member that you can confide in? Venting online can be good too! Eating disorders can be so isolating.

You need support right now. Always, but now more than ever. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Have you heard of DBT? I’ve been going through this book on my own and it’s helping me so much.

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

It's great!! There are supplemental worksheets that you can print out too. Wishing your family member the best ❤️

i need your guys’ advice on how the hell u manage yourself in close relationships.

1 ½ years into dating my bf is a bit too late to be asking this but i want improvement.

im a typical borderline. u guys know how it is so i dont have to explain much. i just want to know of any tips or advice you have on being so close to someone and not losing your mind. i love him with my whole heart and i know he feels the same about me and all we want is to get better and be happy together.

he has ptsd and anxiety so he can somewhat relate to me on the whole ‘mentally ill’ aspect but bpd is very unique so theres things he doesnt quite get. ive utilized this subreddit well, its much more informative than just googling “bpd symptoms” because these are real stories and most of them sound exactly like something id say or do.

im mainly just looking for advice on how to not always be paranoid that he could be cheating when theres zero reason or evidence, how to not escalate arguments (or not even get in them in the first place), how to not be jealous in general (i want so bad for him to get along w my girl friends but theres always that underlying jealousy!!!) or just anything else i havent even listed here. any advice yall have ill take

im in therapy and i ordered a dbt workbook online (this one) that ive been working my way through. im also prescribed bupropion and lexapro, the former is giving me anxiety so id like to get off of it but the latter has helped me considerably. i just want him to know that im self aware, ill admit to any mistake ive made within the relationship, and im willing to improve myself for him.

(this part is just venting. you dont have to read it) things have been very... rocky in the past. as in overwhelmingly difficult and we got kicked out of school last year 2nd trimester because i was having constant breakdowns and as such skipping class and he’d come with to calm me down (they say if youre having a crisis to see the counselors but they dont help!!). before him i had another boyfriend who treated me like dirt. and i told myself ill never be in a relationship again, so i can do what i want with my body! god fucking DAMN was i wrong! im all for freedom of sexuality but i took it too far and i did a lot of drugs and he had to spend the first 4 momths of our relationship keeping me off that shit... but im thankful for it. and i hate myself so much for even typing it but his best friend lived with my ex and me and my bf and some of his friends went there and i was drunk as fuck on xanax and my ex took advantage of that and was kissing me and shit but i didnt. back. away. and i feel so fucking stupid still. this was like a week into our relationship why the fuck would i take xanax with those people?? why would i get so drunk?? why would i fucking hurt him so bad??? im crying typing this i feel like the absolute worst person but since then ive been unconditionally faithful ive given him all my passwords to everything (by my own will, he isnt the obsessive type to check my shit but i know it calms him knowing its always an option) ive learned to stand up for myself when someone hits on me or tries some shit. all i wanna do is make it right. i want to make him happy.

if youve read this far, thank you. i know ive fucked up and hurt him. i fully admit to that. but im happy with myself for being aware and wanting to make a change.

As someone who has severe emotional disregulation, I would highly recommend DBT. There are great DBT workbooks available. I use this one. Individual psychotherapy might also help you learn to cope with the intense emotions.

Alternatively, practicing mindfulness and mindfulness meditation has been life changing as it has helped me to tolerate my emotions and not act on them.

Hope this helps. All the best.

I found this to be very helpful.

I highly recommend the DBT workbook. https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

It helped me immensely.

It’s a DBT book with pages of exercises to practice what I learn - I love it! I use this one -

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=nodl_

I would also recommend this work book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Pm8vFbY7NHRJA I'm not sure if it's available in Spanish but it's VERY VERY helpful!

Sure, here’s a link to the one I bought online. It had the best reviews, but there are several. There’s also a DBT app that looks pretty cool, but I haven’t tried. Yeah I’m not able to afford much therapy either, but hopefully this is a step forward.

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

I 100% recommend it. You'll see borderline personality disorder mentioned alot but dbt is also for those with "overwhelming emotions" (hi!!!!)

This is a great starter: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

Its also at a bunch of libraries

Or honestly just googling it and going thru the free websites and resources can change a whole lot. The first 3 chapters have had a bigger impact on me than all the talk therapy ive done through the years (excluding when i was in eating disorder treatment but even then we were being taught dbt and act [acceptance and commitment therapy, another one i highly recommend])

The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Handbook has a review of DBT skills, as well as several worksheets and a diary card that you might find helpful.

this isn't a struggle I contend with myself, but for my ADHD I've found that it's all about habits; I think it might be similar for self-care and BPD. Starting the habit is the hard part; once it's established it becomes easier. It feels trite to repeat the "do self-care" advice, but finding what works for you to help self-soothe and regulate in a healthy way and making a practice of it will pay dividends in the long run. Like the Bojack quote: "every day it gets a little easier - but you gotta do it every day; that's the hard part."

Another, probably more concrete thing to consider would be to get a copy of the DBT workbook; the spiral-bound version is about $22 on Amazon. My SO (who is not diagnosed, but shares many features of BPD) has been working through it a few pages at a time by herself (DBT is ... difficult to find, here) and seems to be benefiting from it. I imagine it will also be a useful adjunct for your therapy when it starts.

Good for you. But bad moods can come back so it would be a good idea to try therapy or something, so it's easier to handle the next time you relapse. I had a lot of success with DBT for emotion regulation.

There’s a DBT self workbook you can get off of Amazon. I have one and have worked through it myself and found it helpful. That being said, if your pwBPD is finding excuses not to get help, they will find excuses not to read and work through the workbook.

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

If, like most people in America, you can’t get a DBT knowledgable therapist even if you COULD afford one, the DBT workbook is literally the Bible and has been proven to be effective even with just self-help.

I used to post a PDF link to it but it’s been wiped from the internet. You can get it used as cheap as $7 though, but it s a workbook so make sure it isn’t filled in https://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1572245131/ref=mw_dp_olp?ie=UTF8&condition=all

It’s literally THE single most important book for DBT period and anyone who would say otherwise is lying. Just read the reviews.

Anything DBT- guides, workbooks, etc. Marsha Linehan created the program. Anything that follows her program will have what you're looking for.

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

BPD recovery is going to entail a LOT of therapy. I've had the fortune of having weekly sessions with a therapy intern (to cut down on costs) and it's been so much help. Even twice or once a month can be a lifesaver.

I also HIGHLY recommend the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy workbook: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131 (although I know you can find it for way cheaper on other websites).

I found Chapter 5 of "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" to be extremely beneficial. It's largely the set-up I use in most of my comments here. It would be helpful for people in your life to read that chapter if they become involved in your recovery.

I benefited from this book.

Good luck!

Get your hands on a DBT workbook. I recommend this one:

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

You can do a lot of self-work on BPD.

I would also look into online DBT support groups. Beware of message board based groups, but try to find a group that is moderated by someone with some accreditation and does video meetings. If you search "online dbt support group" you'll find several.

These steps can give you two things that you need right now: tools for coping, and a support network.

This Workbook is the one my therapist recommends for her clients. This book is also recommended, although it’s very heavy (intense, triggering) and you should discuss with your therapist before jumping in to it. It’s very informative though.

Hope this helps ya!

You're not her therapist, and you are allowed to set your own boundaries for what emotional labor you're willing/able to give.

I'm going to guess that she has low self esteem, and is now perceiving your exhaustion as disinterest.

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>she had expressed to me that it has nothing to do with anything I’m doing right or wrong. It’s just how she is.

Have you directly asked her "hey, is there anything I'm doing to trigger these thoughts?" ? If she's insecure and afraid of abandonment she's already preconditioned to avoid confronting you on any behavior that's bothering her.

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>I know this makes me sound like a dick, but it’s just too cumbersome to always deal with her problems and never my own.

You can't help anyone if you're burned out yourself. Have you told her that?

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>She refuses to go to therapy stating “it’s not worth it and it doesn’t work”.

People don't like to admit it, but therapy is a crapshoot. There are plenty of good therapists, but you need to find one that works well with you and practices a psychotherapy that works well with you. She's not mad or lazy for feeling so hopeless about it. But has she tried bibliotherapy? There are books out there (ex: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131).

That's not fun and therapy can be a useful resource for working through a lot of those challenging emotions and developing skills and strategies for dealing with them better. There are also online resources and workbooks that can be helpful for improving emotional regulation -- which is really a skill that can be trained and improved longterm by brief daily practice. I hope that gives you some ideas and I wish you all the best with whatever you do next!

Your life does depend on it and it's such an important thing that you are motivated.

Mindfulness, distress tolerance and emotional regulation are essential skills.

I cannot recommend this workbook enough. It is available here on Amazon.

Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT (she has BPD) released a new workbook in 2014. It is equally helpful.

I recommend these resources to anyone with emotional regulation issues.

I also recommend looking for local DBT therapy groups and a DBT counselor if you can afford it. Working in a one-on-one and group setting on these skills is an invaluable asset. But don't be discouraged if this is not possible. You can still do the work.

If you're looking for more formalized Bibliotherapy:

CBT workbook

DBT workbook

ACT workbook (don't have much experience with this one and there may be others that are better)

The biggest problem for me is the emotional dysregulation

I also feel like I could write your post. Great partner, great kids and all I want to do is be a halfway decent mom and wife. My tendencies were intense when I was younger and into early adult, diagnosed with bipolar, depression, anxiety, PMDD and some of those hold true. I feel like when I had my first child also around age 30 things calmed down for me . I clung to my "mom identity" I also was fortunate to have a job that my behavioral tendencies worked well with and I was always a worker that strived to be the hardest worker and most committed. Those things worked in my favor. Anyhoodles, with some life BS that happened I managed to pick up some PTSD along with an unplanned pregnancy.... Now WOW. It was like a magnifying glass on all of my old quirks and behaviors. Just started working on my PTSD issues and yeah this whole pandemic has not helped. But I have been working with tthis book BUT I totally borrowed it electronically from the local library! Also I found this book really helpful and it's all the same concepts. DBT dialectical behavior therapy. Everything I've read and researched have pointed me in that direction. So that's where I've started. I think it's helping.

There are workbooks you can start to do on your own! Also youtube has some great videos.. Please go with a doctor... Dr. Fox has a GREAT channel.

The sooner you start to do something about it, the better. It may be a while before things are normal enough to get out there and get a therapist and group to attend. You can get a workbook in an ebook format and start today. Take care of yourself!

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

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https://www.youtube.com/user/lcruz71/featured

I see. That does make sense.

It seems like you have a good self-awareness of the problem (aka - egodystonia), so that means you are already way out in front of the pack in respect to progress. Congratulations on that.

I suggest you do some reading about adverse childhood experiences and think very, very carefully about how those apply, or might apply, to you.

https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Workbook-Mind-Body-Regaining/dp/1623158249

If you know, or figure out, that you have some so-called "Big T" trauma (i.e. major, acute situations of trauma) you would likely benefit quite a lot from EMDR, which is quite effective for that (when performed properly). Something that would likely really help with you general emotional stability is neurofeedback.

A good starter book for you is called "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists", which you can find on amazon. The author of that book also wrote and excellent new book following up on that called "Discovering The Healthy Self and Meaningful Resistance to Toxic Narcissism". If you read the first one and really, really work the steps she has laid out, I guarantee you will have some deep insights and healthy behavioral changes. When you start to learn how you childhood and early years were affected by pathological narcissistic behavior from others, you can start to see how your own behavior is recreating that trauma, over and over and over again. You can break the cycle.

https://www.amazon.com/Wizard-Oz-Other-Narcissists-Relationship/dp/0972072837

https://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Healthy-Meaningful-Resistance-Narcissism/dp/0972072845

An absolutely key component to realize about changing the pathological behavior is realizing how it mirrors addiction - the constant feeding by way of unhealthy attention seeking. When you ween yourself off of that, then quit it hard and cold, then you can start replacing it with healthy means of gaining attention and success in life - healthy ego drive leading to deeper and substantial life satisfaction, instead of the constant cycle of binging on attention for a "bump" then needing more and more eventually leading to deflation/anger/range/depression etc.

Another excellent book is a regular workbook for affect regulation using DBT on your own:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572245131

Just remember that the most important advocate for your own healing and health is you, and you'll always be making progress as long as you just put one foot in front of the other. Take a comfortable pace and just keep plugging away.

I believe you can do it.

Good luck

Feeling Good by David Burns

Quoting Slate Star Codex: Mental Health On A Budget

>Bibliotherapy: If you’re doing a specific therapy for a specific problem (as opposed to just trying to vent or organize your thoughts), studies generally find that doing therapy out of a textbook works just as well as doing it with a real therapist. I usually recommend David Burns’ therapy books: Feeling Good for depression and When Panic Attacks for anxiety. If you have anger, emotional breakdowns, or other borderline-adjacent symptoms, consider a DBT skills workbook. For OCD, Brain Lock.

This is the book given to me in a partial hospitalization program: They also used the worksheets from Marsha lindemann dbt book while I was there https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131&ved=2ahUKEwjA-aHmu9ToAhXmknIEHTfMAboQFjAAegQIAhAB&usg=AOvVaw2jnz4fT-qpFNysQyuDknul

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Survival-Guide/dp/1572245077&ved=2ahUKEwiz3b-dvNToAhUCgXIEHZOlCs0QFjANegQIAhAB&usg=AOvVaw1T6orJWjvs7nHiEvrQfxTi

DBT based planner https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Wellness-Planner/dp/1936268868&ved=2ahUKEwiLtKPEvNToAhUYlHIEHXiAACgQqa4BMAl6BAgCEAQ&usg=AOvVaw1RLKI72xsVLmWVMgCCYRGL

This book is not specific to bpd but is definitely relevant to a lot of us https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4&ved=2ahUKEwiX29aGvdToAhXpgnIEHb__AMQQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw3XMREinjroBUUw46GEYDJQ