NTA, I suspect your mom is fundamentally emotionally immature.

This book is a life saver:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_Qc.1FbZ0TDTS3

You’re not crazy at all. While growing up it wasn’t uncommon for my dad to randomly open doors to the bedroom or bathroom and freak out if a bedroom door was locked. Part of me wanted to believe that it was his way of checking up on me because he was worried but i realize now it was his way of maintaining control. Why would you need any privacy, especially if they want access to you all the time? What has helped me the most is a book called “Adult children of emotionally immature parents” by Lindsay Gibson:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_P.iMEbTB91EA8

This book, combined with therapy, has helped with understanding what I dealt with as a child and how to live a fulfilling life moving forward.

Good luck and stay strong! Don’t hesitate to post here as this is a great community full of awesome people!

I will warn you that this book may make you even more upset than you are now but, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents really helped me "see" the relationship I had with my parents.

That sucks RIP your NES. Sounds like you had an emotionally immature parent. Hope things are ok for younow.

Going to keep plugging this book because I think it is awesome and might be helpful to a lot of people here.

"Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/

Read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/ref=nodl_

Try to stay safe and take care of you.

Mormon stuff aside, you might want to check out the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It’s been a really important tool for understanding what was an almost invisible factory in my emotional journey. Good for you for asserting yourself the way you did!

This book helped me: "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

This book is really helpful if you feel that your relationship patterns were influenced by your childhood, and/or need help recognizing toxic people in your life: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_QF6aFbYED80QW

Some of the advice applied to me and some didn't but the stuff I related to was eye-opening for me in understanding how to see emotional maturity in others and avoid toxic people.

While recovering from my relatively short relationship with my expwBPD, I had trouble trusting myself to be able to judge whether a relationship was healthy for me or not. I also had been wondering if I'd been more damaged by my childhood than I realized, though that is less important to me now.

The relationship with my ex had revealed a lot of boundary issues I had, when I thought that boundaries and expressing myself in relationships was my strongest skill. Turns out, I had good boundaries around other healthy people but I basically had no healthy boundaries for myself around dangerous people and situations. Like, it was hard for me to even recognize when a person or situation was dangerous in the first place, then when it was too late, I tended to sort of dissociate and think "welp this is my reality now, might as well do my best." I also thought putting myself in dangerous or dramatic situations was more exciting and would make me a more interesting person in the long run, which is kind of true but not really worth it or healthy.

I wanted to find a way to trust myself again and also to feel validation around my childhood trauma without focusing too much on the details and the past. This book helped me do that because the author focuses on behaviors of emotionally mature parents, children of those parents, and of emotionally mature people in general without using clinical diagnoses to describe people and without villianizing one's parents or people around them. You also don't need to have had an awful, abusive childhood and/or mentally ill parents to relate to the advice she gives.

If you relate to some of my experiences or feel like this could be helpful, give it a read! It's my favorite self help book so far.

Looks you like you needed to take some things of the your chest, its perfectly ok and it sounds logical duo to how toxic your family is described. I guess you can't do much but to physically distant yourself from your family and let time heal your soul.At young age I was mostly cared by my mother and at age 12 I moved in to my dad's house, thinking back I see how huge mistake it was for he is narcissistic and abusive, kinda sounds similar to your mother. like how you described that she always brush things off, this is exactly what my dad and sister does, I think this happens because they aren't mature enough to deal with emotional pain, on some levels at-least. I even read a book about it, called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents!, very interesting book, I highly recommended because it helps to understand their behavior with logic.

An example for inability to deal with emotional pain would be lack of empathy for crying. in the book its described how immature (often narcissistic) parents can't respond well to their crying children, rather if its at young age or adulthood. I for a fact remember countless times how my dad made me cry and just told me to "suck it up" or something of sorts. this of-course is just immature behavior for a good parent would not make their child cry in the first place.

another thing I found fascinating from the book is this pattern that often emotional-immature adults had awful parents, its pretty obvious when you think about it but a very important note. this causes them to compare their own childhood to how they make your's, which relatively is supposed to be better. In example from what I understand my father was physically abused quite a lot, in turn he made my childhood full of emotional abuse, which probably has the same mental negatives.

In short those people didn't had good childhood themselves, as your mother rightfully said to you, but I do find my father (and probably your mother) wrong, because they let themselves get trapped in the same abuse cycle. they haven't made any real effort to change and give their kids healthy childhood. it is possible of-course, to change yourself and take healthy objective approach in your parenthood, but it takes effort which they didn't care for.

also, I would shame your uncle for what he did to you, don't be afraid, make a scene out of it on public in some place (family dinner maybe) or, if you feel its justified, simply file sexual harassment complaint on him, for from what you described "slapping my butt" sounds like sexual harassment to me. make him understand to not mess with you again.

​

this one?

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=Adult+children+of+emotionally+immature+parents&qid=1600226959&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFZOVlBNUtRVTNEVTkmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA2ODUxOTEzODI3T0xCVUNMTlAyJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAyNjM2NTQxSURNT0hBTDBCNEJDJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

Oh, so Ann's extroversion is what's real. Makoto's introversion is so unrealistic. Its not like she lost two parents, is being ranged by a emotionally distance and verbally abusive guardian, is part of a real-life high school leadership program and trying to get into college in a country with many brutal barriers college that leads to one of the highest suicide rates among teens or anything. Maybe, just maybe, she's more realistic than you think? I'm sure if she didn't have to think about those things and was parentless like Ann, she'd be just as bubbly. But sadly, Makoto is living in a harsher world while Ann can ride her good genes until she's 60.

Also recommending Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents!

For those 'wHo ShOuLd ToO' this book helps a little.

This book is fantastic.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Personal experience and great books help.

adult children of emotionally immature parents

> The thing is, my dad passed away a few years ago, and I’m estranged from my mom’s side of the family, so I basically feel like I don’t have much of a family.

Book recommendation that my therapist had me read. Basically the symptoms of you losing your dad and being estranged from your mom are exactly what you describe vis feeling socially disconnected.

Even for those who had a mostly great home life growing up (as I did, minus typically overbearing Jewish mother things) I'd recommend it. Your parents are effectively your only social interaction for the first 5 years of life and shape a LOT of your personality and how you interact with the world, and it's important to understand how they shaped you.

Therapy. Lots of therapy.

Also depending in the trauma there are all kinds of resourses that you can find to help you process what happened to you. For me the most helpful thing so far has been reading "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents". It helped me come to terms with their behavior and freed myself from the burden of trying to "fix" them.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Really gives some clarity and comparison

Thanks for sharing. I know how painful it can be to mourn the family you never had. When you said you wished your mom were that way all the time, it reminded me of a book I am reading: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It discusses how to heal from emotionally rejecting parents and explains that we have a "healing fantasy"...what we wish would happen in order to make us truly happy. Thinking about this in terms of fantasy helped me see that the healing is never going to come from my rejecting parent suddenly becoming loving or healthy, but that I can still recover through self care. It prevents me from going down the path of feeling sad for not having a "normal" childhood and subconsciously wishing for my parents to heal so that I can heal. I don't mean to minimize your feelings, as grieving is part of the process, just sharing this bc I found it helpful. The book has some great exercises for journaling about the roles we play out in the family and checklists for identifying the type of parent you had.

I started reading this book last night after it was recommended by an acquaintance as something that every adult with unsatisfying parental relationships should read, and boy howdy there have been a few parts already that could have been written about me and my mom. I can't tell yet whether this will end well or not.

Happy Monday y'all, may your coffee be strong and your work week short. I'm eating a brownie for breakfast so I'd say mine's off to a good start 👍

I found Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsey C. Gibson to be very helpful.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_9D0oEbMT9ZFYT

YTA, and spending actual money on facepalm awards for people saying so (as opposed to spending it on, say, a nice wedding gift for your daughter) is cringy as fuck.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_6KPUFbTYGW912

> Books perhaps?

Pete's book

Lindsay's book

Thanks for your detailed response. Thanks for also recommending a few books. I will check them out! would Emotional Neglect be similar to Emotional intelligence similar to what is explained in this book https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703?

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

If you can move out definitely take that option. As them being more controlling- you left which made them feel like they were losing control. Also if you can try to get a therapist. Or Talk to someone you trust. For me acknowledging it has been helpful to deal with it.

Just remember this is about them and their issues. Unfortunately they are taking it out on you.

Read up on how to handle narcissistics

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia-wc-p13n1_0?cv_ct_cx=immature+parents&dchild=1&keywords=immature+parents&pd_rd_i=1626251703&pd_rd_r=ed23eb0a-a64c-4a10-9760-0be7b181ed6c&pd_rd_w=AiK7m&pd_rd_wg=KKhwy&pf_rd_p=58f22889-1dbe-460e-bfbf-36e34b38099a&pf_rd_r=5JWR8HZPZKXBV4G93A0M&psc=1&qid=1602550074&sprefix=immature&sr=1-1-28362d46-18c7-4274-a33c-c6f665232711

https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional/dp/161448242X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=running+on+empty&qid=1602550111&sprefix=running+on+&sr=8-3

I can’t recommend this book enough to you friend

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_hmWYFbNE0PT31

hi there - I really feel for you in your struggle with all this. Be patient with yourself- you've just had your world turned upside down, and its OK to take the time you need to figure out what you want to do.

As I was reading this particular comment, it made me think of a book - maybe you would find it helpful - https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

It's hard to say without a better understanding of your son and the kinds of interactions that he had with you as well as the interactions he had with his mother. I'll provide my life experience with this in the hopes its of value to you.

For perspective, my parents are fairly educated and well off folks. Dad is an MD and my mother is a PHD/professor. They were not very good at communicating and often had bouts of anger and passive aggressiveness. They knew better than to let their emotions cloud their parenting outright but often failed to recognize that in the moment or admit fault afterward. No matter what they did they could not fill the void of the shattered family after the finally seprated.

My parents divorced when I was very young. I was in a bi-weekly custody arrangement for the entirety of my childhood/adolescence (2-18). While I got see both parents "frequently" I spent more time with my mother. That's where my room was, where my toys were, where my life was. My father was an outsider and that narrative was maintained by my mother. To this day she holds a bitter grudge. This difference in household perspectives about each parent was very difficult to cope with especially in my teens. Around the same age as your son I had a father-son crisis as well. All the years of built up resentment and distance came to a head. I went to see a counselor and was able to invite my father in for a session. We had a heart to heart and learned to trust each other with our emotions. At least more than we did before that session. We had never said "I love you (dad|son)" prior to that day.

If I had to guess your son was dealing with similar narratives of resentment for you. Stories in his mind about how you've caused a great deal of strife in his life. Where they originated from, hard to say. How you and your ex handled the separation with him would have been super critical. Lots of communication and probably therapy to address the trauma of it. Even then... still really difficult. There is a book a would recommend reading regarding how children of emotionally immature parents can grow into adulthood. This book helped me understand some of my behaviors. (To be clear, I'm not saying you are emotionally immature or that you have caused this, or even that you handled the situation wrong).

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

I can say without a doubt that I had a growing resentment for my father heading into my late teens. I often thought about cutting him out of my life. I'm supremely happy I didn't. He's a good man despite his mistakes with fathering a family. If I had one point of advice for you it would be this: Speak to your son as an adult. Tell him that you want to be in his life not because you owe it to him but rather because it has value to you. Tell him about the pain and loss associated with losing him and the excitement and hope at fostering a new relationship with him. Don't dwell on the past with this too much. I suspect it will only drum up old patterns for him. You can go back and review the past once you've established a baseline relationship of non-judgmental mutual love and support. Try to catch yourself if you are victimizing likewise with him if he responds. That kind of communication won't lead anywhere you wanna go.

I hope that's not too much of a proclamation what exactly what to do. Obviously, you have to handle this as best befits your compass, forge your own path. Generally though, that is what I feel conveys the most powerful message for a 20-something male with a similar situation as me. I hope he listens.

I wish you the best of luck with this. Much love for all the dads and sons out there. <3

https://www.amazon.com/Daughter-Detox-Recovering-Unloving-Reclaiming/dp/0692973974

I recommend it because of who recommended it to me, Georgia Hardstark.

and

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/ref=sr_1_2?crid=28JX4OT0MFVTV&dchild=1&keywords=adult+children+of+emotionally+immature+parents&qid=1604279333&s=books&sprefix=adult+children+of+em%2Cstripbooks%2C191&sr=1-2

Good for you! Step one is realizing this is not what a healthy relationship looks like and removing yourself from the situation. The next step is to get very emotionally honest with yourself about why you stayed for so long. Did you witness unhealthy relationships dynamics as a child? Have you experienced a healthy romantic relationship? Do you know what that behavior model looks like?

Healthy folks shy away from people like your girlfriend who exhibit weird (narcissistic/borderline), abusive, or otherwise toxic behaviors; it’s not a bad idea to examine why you might have a higher tolerance for toxic behaviors and break the cycle.

These two books really helped me get to the root of my coping mechanisms and learn why I accepted bad behavior from partners, coworkers, bosses, and friends: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem.

Good luck! As much as it might hurt, and as much as you might empathize with her and the circumstances that made her this way, you’re doing the right thing. Your girlfriend is unhealthy and needs to learn her behaviors are unacceptable—this will not happen if you stay—and, furthermore, it is NOT your job to fix her. It’s hers and hers alone.

Read you post yesterday. I work in MH and you cannot argue or reason with an unreasonable person. Do not respond. DH needs counseling and to look for a support group for families dealing with the mental illness of a family member. Just like substance abuse, DH has to learn self care and how not to enable his mom. LC and info diets will help as well as not always being available to run errands. She needs to learn to access other resources like UBER. These books might help. Take care of yourself and encourage DH to do the same.

• My Parents Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Disturbed by Eva Brown
• Breaking Into My Life: Growing Up with a Bipolar Parent and My Battle to Reclaim Myself by Michelle Dickinson-Moravek
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self… by Lindsay C. Gibson

Wouldn't a better solution be for both sides to stop doing shit they don't want to do?

The only way it makes sense for both sides to feel obligated to do shit they don't wasn't to do (or feel guilty if they don't do those things) is if they both grew up with toxic parents who were emotionally immature and didn't teach them that any time you find yourself doing something out of fear, obligation, or guilt, you're making your own life more difficult.

Coincidentally, and highly related to this sub, you are also making yourself less attractive and desirable to your partner.

Read this -> https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

Your mom and you should read this-> https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901

Sorry for your pain, ive had the same childhood but with my mother as the aggressor.

I'm also dealing with quarantine with my mother and I'm employing a new trick you might want to try. Basically it's an offensive mode rather than what usually happens. I read this book and it told me whenever

I'm in a situation to pause and see the situation for what it is. So now when my mom throws a tantrum for something stupid, I tell her SHE's being unreasonable (basically using shame against her). I don't condone her bad behavior, and if she starts venting I simply ignore her and don't talk to her until she stops. Do I feel good about doing this? Not always. But I do think this is in some sense putting boundaries.

I read this book on emotionally immature parents and it made me see exactly how fragile parents like that are, and that if you have your wits about you can be in control of the situation.

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

The books:

1.Adult children of emotionally immature parents: how to heal from distant, rejecting, self involved parents

2.Running on empty

3.The emotionally absent mother

Their amazon links:

Check this out at Amazon.com Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_w-bYEbNFRECHA

https://www.amazon.com/dp/161448242X/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_macYEb7P5C8NF

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1615193820/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_SccYEbQ0AAJ74

Have I got the video for you! Susan David's work on Emotional Agilty is amazing. Here's the video: The gift and power of emotional courage In it she says "write what you are feeling, tell the truth, write like no one is reading". Her book Emotional Agility is worth a read, as well.

NonViolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg was a huge help to me. It's a compassionate communication framework based on observations vs evaluations, needs, feeling, and requests to have needs met. Revolutionary coming from emotional neglect.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Gibson is another helpful book. I was able to see my father's contribution with this one.

I share a lot of links in my comments, feel free to look at my comment history for more. I believe in your ability to heal yourself!!

I hope you’re able to meet with a therapist soon! Therapy was definitely the #1 thing that helped me the most. Some other things that helped me:

• Videos by Dr. Ramani on YouTube. She’s a specialist on narcissism and she’s amazing! https://www.youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani
• book: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers https://www.amazon.com/dp/1439129436/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_J4B0FbZ442TQF
• book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_E5B0Fb4M5R63J?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
• book: Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://www.amazon.com/dp/161448242X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_f6B0FbZ02SH00

Adult children of parents with the kind of tendencies you describe (narcissism, emotionally immature) often find that they don't trust their own feelings let alone the feelings of other people. So, you're not alone.

You might find some support from other people in your situation on this reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/ Talking to others who've been through the same thing can be both validating and therapeutic.

It's not a small problem, and your friends are possibly just unable to know how best to advise you, rather than not actually caring. It's a lot to fathom, especially if you have no experience of it yourself.

If you aren't able to access therapy, you might find this book helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

You can get better, I promise you. And you are demonstrating the requisite level of self-awareness to begin that healing process. Good luck.

Man, the more research and videos I watch, the more I realize this is NOT unique. These narcissists are so much alike and even though the abuse can be so varying on such a huge spectrum, they all check the a main bunch of "boxes" and it seems like we children of narcissists also have a lot of common themes in our lives just by being their children subjected to their narcissism. My moms name is Deb so I call it the "Deb show", were all a part of the Deb show and it's all props, man. all to get what she wants/her fix/validate herself/make herself feel important and needed. I found my anger issues becoming such a huge problem. My expectations of everyone around me were way too high. My parenting was not where I always imagined where it would be and I ended a marriage in divorce where my husband couldn't stand me and I don't fucking blame him. I wouldn't have been able to stand Deb 2.0 either. My sister ended up with a severe food addiction that ended in divorce and a gastric sleeve bc she was morbid obese. My brother is severely bipolar and reactive and is gay so they hate him for making them look bad. So, yeah they fucked us all up in different ways and it's taken until we're all over 30 to straighten our lives out from the HARD TURNS they made us take along the way. Now we see it and can make our own decisions and go with less contact. My Nmom lives across the street from me so I'm subject to her whenever she feels like walking over.

I spent 2 years in counseling to try and fix my anger and nothing helped until I realized on my own that she was a narc. The videos and channels I've found on YouTube have been stupid helpful in navigating how to change my mindset now that I know she's a narcissist. You gotta find healing.

I highly recommend reading this book. I've read it cover to cover at least twice and made a million notes and highlights. This helps tremendously with healing. adult children of emotionally immature parents

So, here's that video of the problem with being a daughter of a narcissistic mom

the guilt in wishing them dead

this guy's channel: Surviving Narcissism has been a game changer! He's like the Dave Ramsey of Narcissism i think, haha. I have sat and watched his videos and just take a notes because it's like he knows my mom. he can really help you understand them and how to interact with them and keep yourself safe.

Feel free to direct message me. ♥️

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Survival-Guide/dp/1572245077&ved=2ahUKEwi0uemtyrDoAhXxkOAKHZMcDBkQFjALegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw1T6orJWjvs7nHiEvrQfxTi

This one isn't specifically about BPD but it helped me understand my relationship with my parents-and other adults like my parents I find myself drawn to https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703&ved=2ahUKEwjQgK_CyrDoAhVrUN8KHW0sDYAQFjALegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw2bSUwRk6VyUYLVy0IBFjBh

This is the article I read for myself before asking my boyfriend to https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/helping-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder.htm&ved=2ahUKEwjKu82azLDoAhXSYDUKHUFIC_EQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3SHO1HCwN2MNGsgwxGzHX1&cshid=1584966609447

The link works here, but... here's the list:

Wendy Behari's Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving & Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

Nina Brown's Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

Lindsay Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Elan Golomb's Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in the Struggle for Self

Susan Forward's Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (a bit long in tooth now, but still useful) and Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

Kimberlee Roth & Frieda Friedman's Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Naomi Feil's The Validation Breakthrough (great for dealing with narcissistic &/or elderly parents)