Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock

It's a portable door lock.

Like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

They should get one of those things that is basically the size of a bottle opener and makes the door impossible to open from the outside -- they advertise them for hotel room safety. OP could also take it with her when she leaves the house so the parents couldn't steal it and get rid of it, it's that small.

Edit: This is the one I was thinking of. Portable Lock.

No, YWNBTA. There are some really cheap locks that just slide in-between the door and lock with a chain or something like that. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_8C33Fb75CZK6Z

For the low low price of $18 you, too, can stop your 7 year old sister from opening your door to sleep with you!

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=hotel+room+security+devices&qid=1591318149&sr=8-3

Several explanations could be made for nearly everything but one thing sticks out like a sore thumb. Where TF are your underwear vanishing to? I went through a phase where I slept so restlessly that I broke my finger on my headboard and I would remove various articles of clothing in my sleep. You know what didn't happen? None of my clothing vanished. Whenever I woke up my stuff was in my bed or on the floor near my bed. Nothing ever vanished. I would get out of that house like it was on fire but if you choose to stay, at least get a Portable door lock 18 bucks is well worth it for your safety and peace of mind.

Hijacking top comment to share this device!!!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_0YPdEbFG6KFQD

I think this is the one I kept hearing about. There are other similar ones as well.

All of his behavior is sketchy as fuck, be safe girl. You should look into buying this Portable Lock for keeping your door absolutely safe. My 6ft 200 lbs husband made several tests with it, and couldn’t get in without actively trying to knock out the door, but it’s easy for you to remove it from the inside (you don’t get locked in). It’s very resistant and in the improbable case that someone try so hard to enter you le place that knock the door down, will make a hella out of noise, helping you to call for help in the time frame.

Be safe, and listen to your gut.

Ugh I hate this. I had the super strong suspicion that my past roommates did this too, but we had keys to our bedrooms that the landlord didn't give us right away so all I had to do was ask. I saw someone in this subreddit suggest something like this, but I think it only works from the inside.

I live alone now and I have installed a battery powered lock with remote control to compensate the old one on the entrance door, but I had to drill holes to install it so I don't think it's what you're looking for

Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_c6fAEbXX0BN7S

I haven’t tried this portable lock personally, but it has pretty good reviews on Amazon. Doesn’t hurt to try.

Put this on it

Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_a4seEb57G7FCM

You could use a taser instead but I personally find them more cumbersome (and obvious) to carry around. You will get some blowback from the pepper spray but you could also hide the relief decontamination spray somewhere only you know where it is.

For the bathroom you could look at something like this.

There are portable/temporary door locks if that might help you get a bit of privacy (I haven't tried one, but I wish I knew about them sooner)

I sometimes use one of those door snakes/draught stoppers to jam my door with a plausible enough excuse... It's terrible that we have to come up with workarounds/options just to get a small reprieve from the constant abuse. I've moved out (and back in) a few times, for me the constant anxiety and hypervigilance never goes completely away, but it can subside to barely noticeable levels with some time and space. It's hard to shake that deeply ingrained instinct, but you can feel safe and comfortable in your own home (and get used to feeling that way) once you aren't being constantly harassed and attacked

NTA

I honestly don't understand what is wrong with people who can't seem to respect the most basic boundaries. It doesn't matter if THEY aren't bothered if YOU are.

I don't know if you want to bother, but even if they won't let you put a lock on your door, you could use a doorstop or push a piece of furniture in front of your bedroom door to keep them out (assuming it opens into your room). I've also heard good things about these, but I've never used one: Addalock

My mother was terrible about this too. She would knock on my bedroom door if it was closed, but would just walk right in after w/o invitation. The bathroom thing was the worst. If I was in the bathroom for any reason, she would just let herself in to do whatever. I didn't (and still don't) if someone needs to go while I'm in the shower---but if I'm on the toilet, leave me the hell alone. She'd come in chatting at me like that and do her hair/makeup when I'd just like 5 min to myself. The reverse was true as well.

Respect goes both ways and your parents need to understand that. I don't have high hopes that they will change their ways (my mother never did). When you are able, move out as soon as possible. Believe me, it's well worth it.

Good luck.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_M3aGEbFF9MZNZ

Just buy one of these baby’s Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_PTdyEbKRV35CN

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/

Can you or a friend order one of these to use on your door?

OP, I saw you cannot use doorstops would something like this with on your doors?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_tJNcFbZJM76TR

I hope I haven't broken a rule, willing to del and post pic. I am not affiliated w/ company in anyway.

For the extremely paranoid.

My roommate and I bought this one after a home invasion happened a couple streets over. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6fDoEbMJEYB6Z

It takes a while to get used to putting on and off but we have tried to get in multiples times with the thing on and it’s not possible. It’s also lightweight and comes with a little baggy for traveling. Highly recommend.

Could try something more discreet like

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

I have this too, except mine is from the Addalock brand:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Qs4IEbWQRC9D9

Got it after my apartment maintenance decided to let themselves into my place while I was in the shower. Never again.

To add to this, get one of these. It's great for apartment doors as well as a secondary door lock for inner rooms.

I've thought of this a lot in the last few weeks, and what it would've been like had this pandemic hit when I was a teenager still living in my dysfunctional, addict parents' home. It would have been living hell, and I would've felt much like your girlfriend. Being out of the house as much as possible (for school, after work job, friends, etc.) was a survival tactic for me.

Even if her parents don't "allow" it, she's 21. She's feeling unsafe and scared on a daily basis. You need to get her out of there and over to living with you or one of her friends. Deal with the aftermath later. If she absolutely refuses to go, then the only other thing that could help would be helping her install a locking doorknob for her door (actually fairly simple to do), and/or getting her one of these: https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=door+lock&qid=1584840756&sr=8-6

NTA and while you wait to move out I would suggest a removable (and invisible to the outside) door lock like this so you can sleep however you want in peace.

NTA. I know how you feel. My mom constantly bursts into my room while I'm in meetings and it's extremely annoying and infuriating. My parents don't even knock. I recently bought an Addalock. It's not permanent and it's portable. I suggest you check it out!

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

YTA

She’s paying rent. She can come and go as she pleases. You’re being needy. If you’re so afraid to be alone buy this:

Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_GiNdFbZ8BKXTW

I'm in my 30's and recent circumstances had to move back to family. There are no locks on the doors but I bought a portable door lock. Holy crap their confusion has been hilarious as they try to barge in.

I'm often cleaning rearranging so I say their is something in front of the door. When asked why I say I'm naked, which works wonders on my brother, but not my Mom unfortunately.

Today my brother tried to walk in. He just didn't understand why the door didn't work and kept apologizing for failing to open it. I flat out told him it's because I locked it. Silence for a moment and then I heard him walk downstairs. He never brought it up and I will offer no explanation.

My mornings have really improved without them walking in to wake me up. They still wake me up, but at least they can't come in without me allowing it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_tEd.EbSQ9BCCM

Check out Addalock The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_TNiwEbPXQT650

Also a teacher (university level) in the states, this episode just reminded me to buy a portable door lock (link to Amazon) for my classroom when we come back in the fall. I cannot imagine what I would do if I heard gunshots in the hallways outside of my classroom. It makes me so glad that my main classroom only has one entry point. Many of the large lecture halls in my university have two in the front and two in the back, and I always have insane anxiety before, during, and after lecturing in those rooms.

This one works on most doors, including the nursery while you’re nursing, and they say no damage:

Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_J0jeEb7FHF7WJ

Maybe you need one of these things? It will blow her mind when she can’t walk in on you anymore.

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=hotel+security+door+lock&qid=1592285121&sprefix=hotel+security&sr=8-3

Note that this is not an affiliate link or anything like that. I also don’t have personal experience with any of these. I just wanted to let you know that things like this exist.

Might be helpful to get one of these: https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

This is what has helped me growing up with an abusive parent:

For valuables like my phone and wallet and journal, a small safe or drawer that I can padlock is really helpful. Or even just having hiding spots in my bedroom. If the sounds of people walking around at night keeps you up, a white noise machine helps with the hypervigilance. If you don’t have a door lock, you can actually buy a portable one for about $20 US. In an absolute emergency, a door under the handle or something tied around the handle and secured to a heavy object also works. I hope that helps!

Get cameras for your house, make sure they are recording.

I would also order one of these Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_gcG2FbEN9ZGGK?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

To prevent your father from getting into your home while your child is there alone: buy her one of these for the door: Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_lcBcFb1A0K78Z

I've also heard of little add-a-lock things that some people claim work well. They only work on particular type of doors though.

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY as an example. I don't know how well they work.

You could also look into investing in a security camera or something and resting it on a shelf, but tbh I'm not sure if you would run into legal issues with that. Our family has Nest cameras outside and they're great because you get alerts for movement and noise on your phone, and can speak through the camera. Guessing this person is at home most of the time these days though.

Everyone's advice here is on-point, so I won't repeat. I do recommend therapy for everyone to improve communication--but more importantly, I would also recommend the addalock (https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=addalock&qid=1578378182&sr=8-3). This basically serves as a portable chain lock/deadbolt that is portable and doesn't require any installation--so even dear sweat DH doesn't have to know about it when using it on your bedroom or nursery room door.

NTA - OP, if the landlord won't let you install real locks, there are portable locks and door jammers you can use. Here's an example: https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

> Another poster suggested putting an additional cover over your window— I second that, even if it’s draping a sheet over the window. If you don’t have a lock on your door, then see if you can order a door stopper from Amazon and use it to wedge your door shut.

OP could get some one way mirror film from Amazon for cheap. It lets light in, but it won’t let anyone see into the room from outside when it’s daytime. It’s marketed as a way to keep the heat down in your house so maybe they could spin it that way.

For the lock, they have a ton of portable door locks for traveling on Amazon as well. Doorstops can work, but if you have a cheap interior door and mom has a habit of Kramer-ing into OP’s room it may not work very well. Interior doors have enough flex that sometimes a doorstop just stops the bottom and they can still open the top half of the door like 3 inches or so. I used a doorstop to mess with my boyfriend and he was still able to get the door open enough to “Here’s Johnny!” me at the top, haha.

NTA. It’s not his house, but it IS your home, and you shouldn’t need to feel like you’re going to be barged in on all the time. Your privacy is important.

Couple of suggestions. (I want to note, getting naked is the best and most effective solution, but I very much would not be comfortable with that, and it sounds like you aren’t either, so these are some alternatives).

Firstly, look up door pranks if you’re feeling like going nuclear. Anything that makes a big noise when your door flys open (balloons, party poppers, air horn, etc) so he gets a scare and your parents are similarly irritated. Alternatively, you can inconvenience him (water traps, anything with plastic wrap, honey on the handle etc). You could put a pad on the door handle if you feel he’s that easily spooked. You don’t want to be mean, that’ll get you into trouble with your parents, just scare the shit out of him.

Secondly, you could get a motion sensor that connects to your phone. They’re pretty cheap, you can get them on Amazon, and you could put it somewhere inconspicuous (eg about ankle height in the hallway). That’ll alert you to him, like a knock might.

Thirdly. There are these really cool things called door stop alarms. They make an absolute racket and would give him the shock of his life. It’s like $12. https://www.amazon.com/GE-Decibels-Indicator-Anti-Skid-Anti-Theft/dp/B0000YNR4M

Fourthly. Look up travel door locks. No installation, no nails or holes, and really cheap, as well as really effective. I used this one around Europe, when I stayed in dodgy hostels, and it was great. And again, really cheap. https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

Fifthly. Get a water gun and spray his ass when he comes in. Seriously. If it works with cats, it’ll work with idiot brothers. (A nerf gun would also work. Or you could have a little bowl of water balloons and chuck them at him. There are so many things you could do.)

Finally. If you’re absolutely adamant about spending no money whatsoever. Brace your door with a chair. Google how to do it properly, and he’ll have a bloody hard time getting in.

Your brother is being an idiot. Don’t let him keep doing this. Make it too inconvenient for him to come in without knocking.

This looks like a good option for keeping the door closed.

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1Z5SHN203PG0V&keywords=hotel+room+door+lock&qid=1583189569&sprefix=hotel+room+do%2Caps%2C251&sr=8-5

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

I also have IBS and Interstitial Cystitis, among other things and my mother is an N too. Reading your post makes me so angry for you, what your mother does is just so wrong and horrible. She's truly a terrible person (to say the least). I hope you can move out ASAP, but until that time you should buy yourself a portable door lock. Although, that makes me worry she will remove the door all together. I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY

If you're only concerned about privacy while you're in the room, there are nondestructive locks designed for travel that you can use.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002BQ4VBU/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY/

NTA, so inappropriate. Might I recommend a sign on the door or a portable travel lock?

This is just one example, first thing that came up when I googled "portable door lock." That being said, I hope it's not necessary and that your housemate starts respecting the fact that you deserve privacy. Huge violation to walk in on someone in the shower and to then continue to do so.

Write a letter (edit: letter is not a good idea as brother could open it first)/email to your parents where you write down everything he did to you, explain again why you don't want to meet him anymore, and ask them why they're so ready to believe him over you. Save a copy for yourself, too. Don't engage if their answer brushes you off - you're just letting them know where you stand for the last time.

Then, next time you're in town, stay in a hotel/motel/airbnb/couchsurfing/other accommodation. It'll drive your point home, or make it obvious to your parents that you're serious at the very least, and potentially show your brother that you have the means to stay clear of him. See your extended family at their place, or somewhere public.

If you're forced to go home, wear a bodycam. Some can be pretty small and inexpensive. And get an Addalock.

Is there a family member you're particularly close to that would believe you? Also, you can't be the only person he's raged against. Do you know of anyone else?

I watched 2 firemen go through a metal door with axes because there was a large object blocking the lower section of the door. It just so happened part of the ceiling had fallen due to a sprinkler malfunction blocking the door but they had info that showed a person in the room. They wanted in they did everything to get in there with a fire present and no one answering their calls.

And of course a there isn’t training for something like this as it’s so edge case it’s not likely you’ll ever see it. There are also a ton of other different locks similar to this. Things like:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X8ZWMMP

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00186URTY

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AFN2NKW